Light Me Up

I sat in the garden before ciggarette in hand running away with a train of thoughts, something i find myself doing far to often. And it struck what exactly makes me go out and buy a pack off tabs.
The thing is i aint a full time smoker, i just find myself from time to time craving for one of those little white sticks.
On paper there death sticks. They pile gram upon gram of shit in your body and cause you nothing but harm in the end. I know its wrong yet i still do it.
So on average i smoke what..... 2-8 ciggarettes a week, not too bad is it. Regardless though i relise what its doing on the inside but i keep doing it.
Unless you've smoked before you wont understand. The silky smoke puffs through the air almost mesmorising, you inhale the hot laced air and you relax.
My family has a past of heavy smoking more on my mothers side,Cigars especially so it makes me wonder could tobbaco use be genetic ?
Put it this way, no one smoked on my fathers side of the family, my mams is the complete opposite. My brother chain smokes now and i casual smoke..... it makes you wonder doesn't it.
I think the biggest reason i grab for a fag is problems, i need a release, something which is gonna lift the mist and bring me back down to reality. Don't get me wrong i'm a happy person most the time, i'm very greatful for what i have and content with my life. But theres that little dark void thats empty. Thats love, i don't have a partner, could that be a benefitting reason ?
Another theory is i'm just bored and reach out for something to do. When you have a ciggarette you feel even more content, calm and i find my understanding of things becomes clearer. I'm sure a lot of Tobbaco users find this.
My last idea is i find the odd cig enjoyable, what more can i say, its like having a drink at a bar its a recreation.
In conclusion i think its all of these attributes together that make me smoke, it looks like i pretty much nailed that sucker on the head.
Am i going to continue having the odd ciggarette ? Yes. How longs that gonna last ? how long is a bit of string its impossible to tell. But lifes great if you don't abuse stuff.
The last thing i want to write about is Smoker Haters. Up yours for being ignorant faschists as Bill Hicks once said:
"I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin' mouth,
The worst kind of non-smokers are the ones that come up to you and cough. That's pretty fucking cruel isn't it? Do you go up to cripples and dance too?"

This is too true, if everone stuck to there own and just loved instead of hated there wouldn't be half as much trouble. Its too easy to hate ( < yeah thats hippy talk i know but its true).
Anyways i just want to wrap up with this post by saying i'm not a pro smoking advocate, it does kill many good people and i mean GOOD. But don't be afraid to step out the box and say fuck what your telling me man, i am who i am who i am.
Express what little freedoms you had left whatever it may be.